Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
