im holly from the hills drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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