All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
