Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I will pee on everything he values.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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