He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
