Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
