If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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