You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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