so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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