Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
