did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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