Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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