I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
