At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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