Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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