i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
