We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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