what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
