Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize