Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
