Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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