I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
