you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
