Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
