no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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