I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
