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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Shittttttt.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp

  (1-650): View more from California

  i loe djcudia fjxos rue.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.

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• (646): View more from New York

  His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.

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