Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw

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(352): View more from Florida

I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.

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(518): View more from New York

It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?

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