i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?