I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
