Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
