are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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