I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
