I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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