I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
