ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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