I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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