you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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