My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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