he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
