ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
