Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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