Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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