I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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