Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
