I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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