omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
