THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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