Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
