i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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