We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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