Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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