I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
