Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
