The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
