he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
