i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am midnight drunk by noon
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
