I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
