Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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