Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
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she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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