Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
