It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
