Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
