i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
