halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she smelled like a LAN party
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
