I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
