I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
