I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
